Hawaii {Part three}: Maui

To be completely honest, Maui was probably the island that felt most like the "cliché" Hawaiian experience we anticipated before we even arrived on the tropical archipelago.

Boy, were we spoiled in Maui.  For a second time, we tried the Air BnB experience and splurged a wee bit for this clandestine Balinese village designed to feel like a real Indonesian living space.  Nail on the head, man.  Bali


Hawaii?  Can barely wrap my head around it.

If anyone reads this who is planning their honeymoon {or friendymoon} to Maui, you're gonna want to take a peek at this little place.  Romantic city, I'm tellin' you.

It was the kind of place that we never wanted to leave and really had a hard time actually doing so.  Since the village was out in a field near no other dwellings, Em and I stayed up late watching

American Horror Story

basically peeing our pants with terror that we would be murdered and no one would know.

In the mornings, we woke up to the ocean out in the distance and couldn't help but take our time getting mobilized with such a fantastic view to blame for our turtle-like pace.

Hawaii has some damn good beer...naturally, we took advantage of that local privilege.  My personal favorites are a toss-up between the

Kona CoCoNut Porter

 & the

Wailua Wheat


On a day we actually got our butts moving, we drove around the Eastern portion of the island in search of mermaids, unicorns, and shirtless men selling fresh fruit.  We only found the fruit.

The roads were slightly terrifying and narrow and slick and beautiful....but we managed to survive and get a few snapshots along the way.

For some bizarre reason, I was


about seeing the Lava Tubes that day.  Em was kind enough to pull off of our route so I could 'splore the creepy caves.  There was an entrance fee that was a bit over-priced so I decided to go at it alone to save Em the money.....

I didn't make it ten steps passed the bottom of the stairs before I turned around, ran back and basically forced Emily to come in with me.  Whatever, girly moment.  I'm scared of the dark, ain't even embarrassed about it.  The park ranger guard lady laughed at me and ended up letting Em in for free with an extra flashlight for us soooo...I was über grateful and totally not ashamed of my fear of the DARK ASS LAVA TUBES WITH NO EXIT AND NO LIGHT WHATSOEVER.  Just sayin'...you can probably die from darkness down there.

Per a friend's recommendation, we stopped at a sweet black sand beach on our drive around the island.  It was pretty gnarly and reminded me of the volcanic origin of the Hawaiian islands.  Of course, I took some sand and will certainly be adding it to my obnoxious collection.

Oh wait, then we saw this bomb ass rainbow and stopped for a solid 30 minutes just staring at it and taking photos.  


 I get why there's a rainbow on the license plate.

I wouldn't be mad if I was laid to rest here.  Sweet, sweet paradise sounds like heaven to me.

We ended our day with a cold


brew and some live music in a quaint Italian restaurant that satisfied our ravenous appetites.

On our last day, we drove the other half of the island so we could check out Lahaina, the

Maui Brewing Company

, and the drop-dead gorgeous coast we had been hearing about.  We were not let down.

"Brewed with Aloha"

Buffalo Bleu Cheese Burger with a Wailua Wheat...can I call it a foodgasm?  Cause it was.

Remember our "Bad Ass B*tch" mobile on the last island?  I forgot to mention our third installation of the "BAB" series given to us in Maui at no extra cost....CAN YOU SEE THE SPEEDOMETER FLOATING THERE LIKE A HARRY POTTER CHARM?  Who are we?!

Just bad ass b*tches who drive a Chevy Camaro...cause we definitely needed it.

After our drive through Lahaina and the Western side of Maui, we had to make our way back to the airport for our final island hop back to Honolulu before the


leap down under.  

Seeing as it was our "gala night" in the US of A, we were obliged to go out on the town in Waikiki once we landed back in Oahu.  With limited time from when we landed to a normal "going out" hour, we thought getting ready at the airport before our flight would suffice.

People thought we were homeless.

Well, we made it...

...and this pretty much sums up the night.

It was likely the most ludicrous gala night yet, but we made it to our flight to Sydney (barely)....we almost got on a flight to LA..but if you want the real story, I'll have to save that for another time and another place where my Grandma can't see.  JK, Gramz.  I'm an angel always.  Love you.

Here goes!

Love from Down Under (spoiler alert, we made it),